I have been challenged of late by a sweet friend...I hope she will not mind me sharing the impact she has had on my life :-)
There are many things about this momma that I have needed to learn and see in action. Her friendship has changed me in so many ways.
Her friendship is a breath of fresh air. We all need momma friends like these to help us on our journey. She has often said, "Welcome to my crazy life." And I am so glad to enter in! Her "craziness" has shaped me spiritually and mentally.
Her family is different than the average home schooling family. They face challenges that no other families will most likely ever face. They have embraced "undesirable" children that no one else would embrace. They have even embraced children that others have rejected. Their challenges are many. And the way they deal with these challenges inspires me! They are living examples of Christ's style of discipleship. They do not shy away from "the hard things."
Being the planner that I am, I am always trying to make sure what we as a family are doing now will yield the results we hope for in the future...in regards to the curriculum we use, the family devotions we do, the disciplinary style we utilize, etc. I am always trying to extrapolate out the impact of things to see where they will end up, i.e. what fruit they will yield.
Part of this is wisdom. I think it is only right to evaluate what seeds you are sowing so you will know what you are reaping in the future. But, the other more encompassing part of this is CONTROL and FEAR. Weather and environment greatly impact seeds. Weather is out of our control. Our pure seeds, so carefully selected, will have to endure harsh conditions...conditions we can't anticipate or plan around. How will the fruit turn out?
I want a guaranteed plan and formula...one that is proven and true.
There are no such formulas. I know this, yet I still search for them. Isn't this futility???
I believe there are ways of doing things that are better than other ways...but even if we do most everything right, there is no guarantee of the outcome of our children's hearts. Many children have walked away from the fellowship of the saints to instead enjoy the broad way of life. Many never come back to the narrow way. How can I keep my kids on the narrow way?
I can't....so why even toil to do things "right"? All of this toil...for what? If I can't guarantee the results, why do I try so hard?
This is where my sweet friend enters in. As I ask her myriads of questions and pour out my heart to her, her simple responses leave me dumbfounded. When asking her how she faces the future with some of her emotionally challenged children, she responds, "The future is not up to me. I just need to work with today. Tomorrow has enough troubles of its own."
Hmm....seems I've heard that somewhere before? Yet, I am obviously much worried about tomorrow. I am not walking in obedience to these words of Jesus.
This momma gives her all every day. Her primary concerns are the spiritual condition of her children's hearts and their character. She doesn't get in a fuss about the material and academic. She has said, "I will choose the spiritual battles over the physical any day."
I have never met a mom so focused on the HEARTS of her children.
She said to me recently, "I just need to be faithful and obedient today. That's my job. The results are God's job."
How freeing it was to let go of my death-grip on the "results" of our labors in our children's lives!
I read Ann Voskamp's blog entry today (Holy Experience author). It is a great entry, but her closing quote is what really spoke to me.
As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself.
-Thomas Merton
